Body Swap: I'm Naruto and Naruto is me!
by GashNanase
Summary: My own little twist on the story plot of "What if you woke up as an anime character?". I've chosen Naruto Uzumaki. Watch as I map out a new timeline for the Naruto world, and make the original one bleed from its anus and cry into a pillow. Rated M to be safe.


"Nnn, shit...my aching head..."

As I sat up in my bed, wondering just what I had to have drank last night to have a headache this bad, I ran my fingers through my hair. I furrowed my brows as my hair felt shaggier and thicker than I seemed to remember. I let out a soft "hn" (a term I was going to become VERY annoyed with in the coming months...), and shrugged it off.

 _"Must not be paying attention to my hygiene as closely as I think...I'll get it cut this weekend."_

As I lifted myself out of bed, still in a half-hazy state of mind to the point I didn't notice the VERY different decor of "my bedroom", I walked to the door, opened it, and walked out down the hallway to the bathroom. End of the hall, last door on the...

Wait.

"WHERE THE HELL IS MY BATHROOM DOOR?!"

It was at that moment I noticed my voice was raspy as hell, like I had been smoking a pack of menthols a day for years on end, not deep and loud like I was used to. I again furrowed my brows, thinking it was due to having just woken up. I looked around what I had THOUGHT was my house and realized it couldn't be anymore different. Instead of my kind-of-modern-but-not-100%-up-with-the-times decor, it was very Asian looking. It was small, and to put it perfectly, looked like a pathetic single guy apartment. It looked familiar somehow, but I couldn't place my finger on where exactly I would have seen this apartment before.

Thinking I had crashed with some Asian girl for the night, I decided to at least help myself to her food. After locating the kitchen, I went through the fridge and cupboards. Spoiled milk, ramen, ramen...jeez, she sure loved her ramen! The place was full of the stuff! Food boxes had white paper sheets on them labeled "Noodles for homemade ramen", "Seasoning for homemade ramen", and there was boxes upon boxes of packaged ramen bags and cups. I decided to try a shrimp flavored pre-packaged ramen bag. Inside it had dehydrated noodles, hard as a rock, and a "shrimp flavoring packet", just like the bags you could get at Walmart. The only thing was the typical brands of "Top Ramen" and "Maruchan" were not on the boxes or bags. They were all in Japanese!

"So she buys straight from the homeland, eh? Fine by me!"

I located a pot that was the least dirty (she doesn't seem to like doing dishes too much...) and cleaned it out, filled it with water, and set it on the stove over a high flame. Once it started boiling, I dropped the noodles in and set the timer. Even the oven buttons had Japanese Kanji on them! Being able to read Japanese due to being such a major anime fan in my younger years (okay I stopped watching like a year ago, I'm 20 now) I had no problem figuring out what did what. But it didn't feel like a LEARNED language. It takes years, much longer than I put into it, to make reading a second language as easy, smooth, and instantaneous as your native one. Yet the slight gap between my starting to analyze the Kanji and my brain processing what it meant was gone. Okay this was weird. I decided to take a tour around the house, feeling even more deja vu about having seen it somewhere. Then I found the bathroom.

It was your average single girl apartment typed bathroom. But what stopped me dead in my tracks was the mirror. Staring back at me from where my reflection should have been, was Naruto Uzumaki from the Naruto anime series. It was his younger self, probably after he had just entered the academy. Not my 5'7" slightly overweight form. Not my ocean blue eyes (well okay Naruto's eyes are pretty much the same shade of blue as mine, but they look way more vivid even on a "real life" representation of him). Not my reddish-brown hair. No, what I was looking at was most certainly Naruto. I rased my right hand, he did the same. I danced stupidly, so did he. My face paled to ghostly white. I bolted back to the bedroom and grabbed one of the pillows so in case what I thought was happening really was, ANBU wouldn't hear me scream. I pressed it to my face and let loose.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!"

After my mental breakdown, I returned to the bathroom. Yes, it seemed to be true. I had somehow switched bodies with Naruto Uzumaki. How?! There's an actual universe that's an exact copy of the Naruto one?! I gathered my thoughts and calmed my breathing. I heard the oven timer go off and decided to go finish the ramen and eat. As I stirred the seasoning packet into the hot water to turn it into broth, I was in a bit of a trance. I grabbed a bowl (clean already surprisingly!) and poured the ramen into it. Sitting down, I ate and tried to process this. I was a rational man, not closed-minded to the idea of the multiverse theory. But a universe-clone of the Naruto anime?

Wait, wait. There was no proof it was another universe. I very well could have swapped bodies with one of those Japanese weirdos who plastic-surgify themselves to look like anime characters. He probably also had a house built themed around Naruto's apartment. Though still mind boggling, it's a lot better than being in another universe. The only way to know if that's the explanation for this or if it really is a Nauto-themed alternate universe, would be to check outside. Even then maybe I've been kidnapped and put into some weird simulation machine built by a shady gang of mad scientists. Like Hydra from the Captain America movies! At least, something of that aspect. Thinking Hydra might be a real terrorist organization was too frightening right now, although if this is another phsycial universe, maybe there's one based off of the Marvel universe.

Upon finishing my ramen, I set the bowl in the sink and washed it out. I took a deep breath and decided to once more head back into the bedroom. I opened Naruto's dresser, technically mine now, and retrieved what was definitely an early academy days outfit. It was an ugly burnt orange vest with a white t-shirt, and tan cargo shorts. I got dressed, went into the bathroom, brushed my teeth, fixed my hair, and gave myself one last look over. Okay, I was ready. At least as ready as I was gonna get. I walked to the front door and grasped the knob. Holding my breath I slowly turned it, and opened the door. Looking outside I saw something troubling. I was staring at the same walkway in front of Naruto's apartment. Stepping out onto the walkway, I observed that this was the same exact building he lives in.

 _"Well, there goes the idea of just somehow being in the body of someone from Japan."_

As I made my was to the stairs at the end of the walkway to my right, I looked up and saw this definitely looked like Konohagakure, the village Naruto lives in. I groaned. So it's either a simulation or I'm in a Naruto universe. Great. I made my way down the streets of the village and became uncomfortable. I looked around and saw everyone glaring at me, literally everyone. Even the kids and teens. I rolled my eyes. Seeing this made think about Kurama, the Nine-Tailed Fox Demon sealed inside my, or Naruto's, body. I wonder if he could tell it was a different person's mental conscious in Naruto's body? Was the seal weakening as we speak, about to break and release Kurama back against the village? I began to inwardly sweat. That wasn't good, if it was happening. Trying to calm myself I looked towards the sky. And right smack-dab in the middle of my line of sight was the Hokage Mount Rushmore. This did nothing to calm me. I became more and more biased towards this being a real universe, not a simulation, as I walked about.

As I walked aimlessly, I found myself near the academy. Suddenly I heard a voice and felt a hand on my shoulder. My head whipped around, and I caught sight of a woman dressed in ANBU garb. Short purple hair, VERY generously sized chesticles...yup, this was Anko Mitarashi. I assumed she was glaring at me from behind her mask, based on her shady tone. She squeezed my shoulder as she spoke.

"Hey whiskers. Aren't you supposed to be in CLASS right now?"

I blinked. Giving a wide grin that I hoped matched Naruto's perfectly, I scratched my left cheek with my index finger. "Yeah, I was just headed there right now!"

"Sure you were, whiskers. Go on, get to class. You might manage to get there for the end of roll-call."

I nodded and took off towards the academy. I suddenly got an idea, and put my arms behind me, palms facing upwards. Leaning forward, I gave a harder than normal push against the ground with my foot and was amazed at how I took off. I had trouble keeping track of my surroundings and nearly crashed into the wall next to the academy entrance. I heard a soft giggle as I narrowly escaped plowing through the wall and shrugged. She thought it was funny, big deal. I just might try to tap that at some point. Smirking to myself I walked down the halls to Naruto's classroom and stopped short. I had just wandered here on instinct...so it seems I'm retaining some of his reflexes. Which would explain the smoothness when I read the Japanese earlier. Hey, I wasn't complaining. I opened the classroom door and waltzed in like I owned the place. As the door shut behind me, good ol' Iruka walked up to me and exploded.

"NARUTO YOU BARELY MADE IT BEFORE THE END OF ROLL-CALL, I'M TIRED OF YOU SHOWING UP LATE! WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?!"

Time for some mindfucking.

"Gomen nasai, Sensei. I forgot to set my alarm last night, it's entirely my fault. I apologize." And just for an extra twist I bowed at the waist until my body formed a 90 degree angle. Iruka's silence was priceless, and I could hardly keep myself from snickering quietly. But with how quiet the classroom was, even a pin dropping would have sounded like a freight train coming through the classroom.

"...Take your seat, Naruto."

I grinned triumphantly and waltzed to my seat, again letting what little bit of Naruto's subconscious was still in this brain guide me there. I briefly pondered if that was the reason the seal hasn't collapsed. Shrugging it off, I turned and waved to Hinata Hyuuga in the back of the classroom. I winked at her as well, and she fainted. Priceless. Oh, I could definitely get used to this. But I was gonna have to actually perform in the academy, and be a good student. I might have a few of Naruto's subconscious reflexes, but that didn't mean being a ninja was gonna come to me instantly. Especially if I'm in his body when it's this young. I borrowed a pen and paper from Chouji Akimichi, and started taking notes. The day was fairly uneventful, and this must be even earlier on than I thought, because Iruka was still having trouble remembering names. Must have been super close to the beginning of Naruto's first year. Perfect. I'd learn everything pretty much.

As the school day came to a close, I groaned softly and stretched. As I was heading out amongst the crowd of kids, Iruka called me back to his desk. A few "ooh's" and "aah's" were heard from the others. I simply separated from the rest of them and headed over to him. He waited for everyone to leave, and smiled down at me. He gave me a large slap on the back and his smile turned into a grin. I was confused, but then I realized Naruto was a terrible student. And he never owned up to his mistakes at this age. I smirked as I realized Iruka was most likely going to praise me.

"Naruto, I'm proud of you for owning up for being late today, and actually participating all day. Good job, and I hope this continues."

Wow, Naruto must have been worse than fans ever knew if Iruka was this overjoyed of one day of "him" doing "his" work. I scratched the back of my head and looked down bashfully. "Let's just say I got a wake up call, and realized just what could really happen if I slack off in the academy. I'll be a much better student from now on, I promise!"

"I hope so! See you tomorrow champ."

I waved and walked out of the classroom, heading back out the front entrance. I saw the parents all glared at me and pull their children just a little bit closer as I stepped outside, so I pulled down on my bottom left eyelid and stuck my tongue out at them. A few scared, some growled at me, others just glared harder. I walked through the schoolyard and suddenly felt a paper ball hit my neck. I froze. Turning around, a middle aged man became the center of my focus. He had dark brown hair, a goatee the same color. He was regular build, not muscular, but not chubby or fat either, or too skinny. I sighed. Maybe if I fight back these people will leave me alone.

"Can I HELP you, jackass?"

His glare intensified. "Yeah, you can go back to hell where you belong, demon!"

I winced. Not in emotional pain, but the eye twitch thing anime characters do when aggravated. I walked back towards him, and he suddenly grinned. He started cracking his knuckles and full-blown charged at me. He swung, I ducked, I punched him in the dick with all of my body weight. The air hissed out of his lungs and he grabbed his abused groin, stumbling back but not falling. I backed up while he was distracted, got a running start, and delivered a drop kick to the side of his head. I'm not sure if he was out cold, due to how small Naruto's body is, not to mention the fact Naruto has to be malnourished due to eating only ramen, but he didn't get back up.

As I looked around me, I saw everyone staring at me with wide eyes. The guy's daughter ran up to him, shaking him gently. He groaned. She glared up at me and I raised my fist to her. I spoke slowly and with a tone as cold as ice. "If you wanna fight like a man, I'll hit you like one. Your tits and vaj don't mean shit to me. So choose your next actions VERY carefully."

Her stance loosened, and I figured she decided not to fight. I turned and walked away, exiting the school yard right when the ANBU showed up. Now let me explain how I just did that: Although I didn't by any means master taijutsu in one school day, I was very skilled in martial arts in my own body. During Physical Education today, Iruka took us over basic taijutsu form. Once I learned to aim and swing with my much smaller body in mind, I was back to being a pro. Now I couldn't do the 50-foot jumps these shinobi can, or the fancy flips and such, but I could hold my own against dudes that were 400 pounds of pure muscle when I was in my body. I got fucked up, but I managed to take one or two down. Anyway, that's why that guy didn't wreck me. I don't know the first thing about taijutsu from around these parts, but Karate, Judo, and flat out street style? I got it down.

I walked back to the apartment building and made my way up the stairs. Funny, I figured the ANBU would've followed me and questioned me. Probably killed the guy for calling me a demon, what with Hiruzen's law against talking about the Kyuubi. Erm, Kurama I mean. I wanna stay in the habit of calling the tailed beasts by their names. It'll make it easier to befriend them later. Speaking of which, I was still unsure of whether or not I wanted to follow the timeline as it is in the anime (assuming EVERYTHING is copied from the anime here) or try to convince the Sandaime I'm NOT Naruto, I was somehow body swapped with him, and warn him of future events. I could also change the timeline in a less obvious way...maybe resurrect the ten-tails for my own purposes.

Nah. I'll tell the Sandaime eventually after I know this is a permanent thing. I'll warn him about the risks of the Uchiha massacre, though at this point there's probably not much time left before it happens. I'll tell Fugaku, Mikoto, Itachi, and Sasuke about Sasuke being Indra Otsutsuki's next reincarnate. And I'll bust ass double time on unlocking Hagoromo's chakra so I can fuck some shit up. As I prepared dinner and chilled with a little bit of television, which I'm surprised they have here, I began to accept this more. For fuck's sake, I was LIVING out the Naruto anime! This is so cool! Even if there's a way back I'm not taking it. I'll have to adjust my story to the Sandaime, maybe say I'm Naruto from the future in kid Naruto's body, just so they don't try to send me back. After a few hours I brushed my teeth, changed into my pajamas of basketball shorts, keeping the white tee on, and headed to bed. I relaxed under the covers and closed my eyes, a big shit-eating grin on my face as I thought of what awaited me.


End file.
